Monday, April 7, 2008

The Best of Times & the Worst of Times

Sleepybaby_2  That about sums up the newborn stage, doesn't it? So fleeting, you want to soak it all in and memorize every little roll on your baby's thigh, but you are so sleep deprived that you dream about the day all your children can buckle their own car seats.

Just deleted two very whiny paragraphs about my frustration in all that I haven't been able to accomplish lately. Fascinating details like the fact that I'm still in my jammies, that said jammies have spit up on them, and that these same jammies spent less than 3 hours in my bed last night. Time to let go of a lot of expectations, let the bathroom floors wait a few more days, etc.  I have an inbox full of emails to reply to, which makes me a little crazy. While holding Nolan, I definitely find it easier to read emails  than to type them. So bear with me if I owe you a reply, and keep writing. Feels like 101 things are on hold, which is how it should be...but knowing that doesn't always make it easier.

Meanwhile...some things to make you smile:

A friend sent an excerpt from a book called "Porn for New Moms":


Everything this guy does makes me laugh:


Finally, after mentioning my lack of "craftiness" in a post on favorite blogs, I received this sweet image from a friend. Totally cracked me up:


I started writing this early in the morning; it is already after lunch. We are in our own little time-zone here. Already things look brighter though. I just have to choose where to look. I could focus on all the thank you notes that have yet to be written, or just be thankful for sweet gifts from family and far-away friends. I could worry about the serving dishes I have yet to return, or just be grateful for sweet friends that brought us incredibly good meals during Nolan's first week.

Instead of noticing how Bri does things differently than I would, or buys different brands/products than I would (I admit, I do and I comment on it too--but come on, OreIda Frozen french fries?!), I could just note that he has done all the grocery shopping this month, and usually taking Aidan or Sean with him as well. He's also made numerous meals, and done all the dishes. I hate doing dishes if I made the meal. He's doing more than I even realize, and I am grateful.

Still, that doesn't mean I don't send him dirty looks at 3 am if he's snoring while I get up again:^)

The key for me is seeing my perspective as a choice, as a "could" and not a "should."  Nothing makes me more stubborn than "should". "Could" means options. It means taking some time to whine isn't something I "shouldn't" do, but I could choose something much better.


Today I'm grateful for the bulbs blooming in our yard, for new tunes my sister Erin sent; for the brown-paper-package that arrived today from a recent book exchange; for crushed ice; for how thrilled Aidan and Sean are at the prospect of making smoothies; for how patient Brian is when I dissolve into tears at the slightest teasing (seriously, though, he should know better!); for wine on a patio with girl friends; and most of all for this:


I didn't get the shot. It's out of focus. But the important thing is that he's started to smile. Spit-up jammies don't mean a thing when a baby starts smiling back at you.

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